home

i made it through finals. barely. i am sure some of you know what a close call it was. i passed though. and i made it through all 9 finals. but yeah... i think that is all i really need to say. too tired right now to actually write anything more.

FINALS!!!!

yes it is that time of the year. the time when those 9 classes really start to add up. but i am proud to say that i am down to 2. 7 down, 2 to go. man.. it has been a long and exhausting semester. i will be glad once it is over. i am still stressed about passing a class... but i asked the prof and he said that i should pass. i will be happy just to see a C on that transcript or even a D. i have worked my butt off in that class and do not want to take it again next year. it is rough and i am not good at it. it is one of my 2 finals i have left. it is actually my last final scheduled. kindof scary. i will definitely be glad to get it over with. oh... i found out today that due to a shortage of people in class voice, i will be taking private lessons next semester. that should be interesting. it will definitely allow for more individual vocal work, but it also required a lot more out of a person. i just hope that i am ready for it. you know what i mean. it will be interesting. oh and this is funny. i have started teaching lessons here. a few kids in the neighborhood come to me for guitar lessons. it is really funny. my number is being passed around to the mom's. and i am gradually gaining in students. right now i have 2. i expect at least 1 more next semester. it is nice to have that extra little bit of money every week. it is just funny. i actually have some cash in my pocket. definitely something i am not used to. but yeah... that is life right about now. stressful, but interesting. i am gonna end up staying at school a couple extra days. i have a wedding to go to. a couple friends are getting married. should be fun. so i wont get to town until saturday night most likely. i am looking forward to a little bit of sleep. tomorrow afternoon... i am gonna crash... and it is going to be sweet. and then friday... i will sleep in. and saturday... get in the car... check out of the dorm... go to a wedding and then come home.... it will be amazing..... but alright... i will talk to you guys later.

the weekends pass

well life is still progressing here at good ol JBU. I just registered for classes for next semester... and surprise surprise... i cant fit everything i need to again.... oh well... i guess there is always next time. so... i am investigating going abroad for a semester. i dont know how it will work out though... and i must say it is getting a little frustrated with it. it seems that sense i am so ahead in core classes... that there is nothing that i can really take anywhere... so i will just be wasting hours there... and i dont have those hours to waste. its crazy they make you take certain classes when you go places... and they wont fit anywhere in the things that i need. so if i go.... it seems that i will probably just be making other semesters really hard or i will be adding a semester at the end. i dont know if it is really worth it... because i am still gonna have to bust my butt where ever i go that semester. so i dont know. i would love to study somewhere else for a semester but i just dont know how it is going to work out. if anyone has a suggestion please let me know... i found this one program in australia that seems like it would work fairly well... but i talked to a music teacher and the classes dont line up exactly right... and i wouldnt be covering exactly the same material... so yeah... yay.... im not sure how that is going to be handled. i'm sure ill figure it out. but please if you know anyway that might work... let me know.... im pretty open to anything.

Soccer

well... ok... strange thing... i think i am on the soccer team at school now. i have been missing the sport and getting to play a couple times this summer really fed that. so i talked to the coach. apparently there were some injuries to some of their players and they need some people. so yeah... i went out to practice... and really realized how out of shape i am... but he said keep coming out and i should be put on the roster by next week. this i think will prove to interesting. i wont be any big field player or anything... i dont think i could last... but i will be a sub so others can rest some. it should be interesting to see how this progresses. i dont know how long i will do it though.... it all depends on if i can handle it or not. so far it seems reasonable. no more than highschool soccer. a couple hours a day. now the challenge is getting back into shape.... we will see.

howdy all

alright.. i actually have some time to write something. well actually i dont... but i ran out of things to do at work. so here i am. life has been going alright.... some aspects are good some not as good. but hey what ya gonna do. thus is life right. i find myself really missing jordan sometimes. things there are so nicely slow paced. i loved it. things here are so hectic. i still havent finished my classes for jordan. i now officially have two F's on the transcript. oh how life is grand. it will get done though. soon enough. i have only two papers left. maybe... just maybe i can get one done this weekend. wouldnt that be amazing.

but yeah... enough of that... it's good to be back on campus after fall break. i really love the people and the community that JBU gives me. it's just what i need at this point in my life. i know these friends will always stand by me... and i hope that i can do the same for them.

oh... and for some things that i have been learning.... i never really thought about this... but i think it may be true.... there really are such things as love languages... some give things... some give time... some use touch... some use encouraging words.... and so on.... its just interesting... what i still have yet to learn... but really want to learn is how to receive love in a sincere way that is not necessarily the way that you best receive love. for example... i dont really receive giving as love... i would much rather have touch and quality time and stuff like that... kind words... and so on... gifts dont mean as much to me... but i want to learn how to see that and accept that kindof love as more than just a physical gift and have mean love.... if anyone has suggestions... let me know.

yes... i am still going to post

i will still post. they will and are a lot more scattered at the moment. i still havent finished all the jordan stuff. so that is consuming most of my time. i am having to write papers for classes that should of finished in august... so time is kindof pressed. i will try to start updating once a week. at least.

everything is going decently here. the school year is well underway. fall break is just around the corner. i am hoping to finish a few papers by then, but part of me doubts that that will actually happen. we will see though. but honestly.. i would love to write more now... but i have business law homework that i didnt get done last night... so i need to concentrate on that.... i will post later though.

long.... loooonng time

hey guys i am sorry it has taken me so long to write again.... but it as been a busy few weeks... still is. so how is everyone doing? i really dont know what to say... i have stuff to do.... so i just want to know if people are still reading... so are you? please comment

well...

it is amazing how much time matters in this life. here i am sitting in my chair thinking about all the crap i have to get done and how fast i need to do it. it is impossible. i have to read a book in a couple of days... ill get it done... but it will be close. i am way tired and am finding it hard to motivate... but it will get done... i have several papers that i still need to write... those will get incompletes most likely... but i will try... i dont know whatelse to think. its just funny... back in Jordan everything moved so slow. it was great. life was relaxed. here it is crazy. i am getting really stressed again and falling back into the same old distractions... plus some. how great it is. i know i need to get to work... but i could really care less to tell you the truth. i am still tired from the trip and i dont seem to be getting anymore awake... but thus is life right.... but ok... if you have any suggestions let me know... i think now i am going to sink into the bed. talk to you later.

home

alright... it is official... i made it home.... i am sitting on my floor, not in an internet cafe. ok... well... it has been a crazy 33 hours of flying... shouldnt ever happen. but anyway... this is going to be super short. i am getting overwhelmed with everything that i have to get done before i leave next... so i will talk to you all later.

ok.... few more days

alright well.... we were supposed to stop working yesterday... but now i dont know when that will happen... we worked today and we might work tomorrow. the area that i joined a couple days before the end of the dig.... is the last to be done. so while some get to stay home from work i am in the field.... all in good fun... its ok. they are doing work back at camp... but anyway.... i know this may not post right... but i am going to try my hardest to figure out what is going on with this thing... this is my third post sense petra and something is just not working right... we will see.... but yes today we confirmed tickets. so hopefully i will make it home ok... i still have yet to pack. i have yet to do anything. it should be interesting. i maybe tired enough to sleep most of the flight back. that would be nice. but ok... i dont really know whatelse to say. we have said goodbyes to a lot of our friends that we have made here over the summer. it is really sad... i miss them all already. sheugel halas. work finished. with that.... goes most of our contact with the jordanians. it has been good though... i think i have dinner invitations like every night i have left here. it is great. i think i actually got adopted into one of the families here... i dont know how that happened. or why they like me so much but... whatever.... but ok... now i really should be going... i think i am about to get my last schwarma at my favorite resturant... sad day....

ok....

well.... for some reason i dont think my last post is showing up on my blog. im sorry about that... i will try to get it up.... but just in case you should read it.... i am still sick.... i am getting a little better. but my stomach is still messing with me. it has not been fun. right now... i am wanting to be back in hartha in my bed. but that is ok... thus is life. my stomach is doing ok... i am feeling and looking much better. i took a couple days off of work last week. i went in monday... but that was the day that i got sick... stayed home on tuesday. and then my old area needed some help because it was going to be closed up thursday morning... so i got my butt out of bed to help out. and then thursday i wanted to be there to see it finished and to watch the final photos. but then on friday i decided it was best not to wake up at 4 and finally get some rest. it was a good decision. a lot of people said i looked a lot better. which is very good. for almost a week now... one guy has been saying i look like hell.... almost everyday... at one point i think i graduated to purgatory... that was exciting... but ok... i think that is enough of that. i have 2 days of work left. then 2 days of cleaning camp. then i am off to amman to spend 2 days there and then leave. it should be exciting. we are coming to an end. i have stories to tell from last night... but i dont think that i can give them justice. i can just say it involves the jordanian army and the syrian border. :) oh well... ok i am off.

sick again

well this week hasnt been fun... we got home from petra and aqaba on sunday night.. and i was dead on the bus the entire way home... the next morning i get up go to work and i basically collapse on the tel. i felt nauseous. and weak. and it was no fun. i get home that afternoon. skip both dinner and lunch and go to bed. i got up for 2 hours that night and slept through work the next day... something about fellow classmates telling me i look like hell makes me feel like i made the right decision. i needed to go into work today though. my stomach still hurt and i was really weak feeling still but i did not feel like i was going to throw up anymore... always a good sign... but i did a light day of work to try to finish up the church for final pictures... it is not completely great.... but it is all the time we have... oh well... it is ok... we only have one week of work left. everyone is kindof closing down their areas and then counting down the days... it is great. we are enjoying our last days rushing through homework... and planning our free weekend we have coming up... i will be staying in town... i just want to rest and these trips every weekend are wearing me down... but it is going to be nice. irbid and hartha are my favorite parts of jordan... and believe me i have been all over. i have seen way more of this country than i ever thought possible... it has been good though... but ok.... thanks for everything everyone... i am guessing there will be two more entries before i get home... or maybe 3. one this weekend. one next week. and then one when i am in amman waiting to get on the plane... oh happy day oh and here is one of the more recent pics of me that i have access to right now... this was before the camera broke... so...umm... i think i am probably darker and blonder... now... oh and i think this is where john the baptist got beheaded

PETRA

ok well i am now sitting in petra... well... not petra but the city outside of petra. same difference. we got the option here to get a hotel room or find a place on a roof or something somewhere. well naturally the cheaper the better. i went for the roof. we didnt get a roof... we got a greenhouse. i know strange. it is a big greenhouse with several foam mattresses and it is right by the pool. 3 jd a night. nice.... but yeah... we had to fend for ourselves tonight and find food. we found it... but yeah... i really dont know whatelse to say... i am really tired... and kindof just want to go to bed. that will happen soon enough i am sure. but yeah... oh i went to a workers house yesterday... his name is emad. he has a little crush on me. his family dislikes me. that was an interesting dinner. i am sure that will be a better story in person.. but also.. today at the site. it was so sad. we have really hard workers. they are truly great. but they were so discouraged. i guess someone said that they only mess around when they are out there busting their butt all day. me and the other guy at the area dont give them easy work. but yeah... me and him will try to figure something out. but ok.. i must go. till next time

early

i know this post is earlier in the week than normal... but i guess the director and the rest of the senior staff thought it good to change up the routine we had gotten ourselves in of going into town on wednesdays... i guess it makes sense... i mean there is a war happening next door. but what ya gonna do... it isnt in this country. and no one thinks it will get here. oh good news... i finished my probe today. this is a one by one meter square. the soul purpose of this was to go all the way to virgin soil... and to date the church... it was quite interesting... i hit bedrock... for those of you who dont know what that is... that is basically where there is no more dirt. the bottom level of rock on the earth's crust. kindof cool. but i dont know if we got enough information out of that probe or not. i sure hope so. it was getting really hard to get out of there today because it was getting so deep. imagine a really tired me in a deep hole starting to get frustrated. it can be a funny picture. oh... yeah so now that i am done with that probe i have no idea where i am going to end up. the place i thought i was going apparently got vetoed by the director. but i really dont know... and everyone i have asked doesnt know either. see my area shut down last week. and me and one other guy stayed to finish up some stuff. i finished and he has not. so now i dont know what is to become of me. we will see i guess.

oh and if anyone was interested about the jordanian guy front... i was told by the guy that gave me the shirt and bear.... muhammad that he does not like me... he likes another girl in the group that used to be on the same tel. that made me laugh a bit. but at that same time... another guy confessed to the american guy in our area that he does like me. and i have been invited for coffee tomorrow at his home. this should be interesting.. hopefully... nothing too bad will happen.... no i am kidding... i dont expect anything. i will keep my eye open though... and stay on my toes....

ok and now the war... no i am not going to talk about all the specifics that are going on. you guys prolly know more than i do. i just know that it has been a lot cooler out these days... the skys are gray from smoke. apparently there was some oil barracks or something blown up and that made the day much more cool. oh and if you got down low this afternoon... made it so the wind didnt blow in your ears.... you could hear the explosions.... it was quite interesting....

when it rains it pours

well... believe it or not.... it rained in the desert. the locals couldnt even believe it.... not once since the beginning of the abila excavation has it rained.... well i am not so sure you can call it rain... it was a couple oh drops... but it was cause for rejoicing.... it was cool. the mornings on the tell are usually really cold... and when you see what looks like rain clouds... you just dismiss them usually. they are prolly just left over clouds from syria... it rains more there than it does here. but yeah it was interesting.... it lasted a couple seconds but it was cool. never thought i'd see the day. but there it was. i talked to one of the workers and was like it is rain. they call it shita.. :) but he just point blank said it is summer.... there is no rain... it was weird... but anyway... that day came to an end. i doubt we will see anymore... but it was nice.

but that was friday... this weekend... we went on a cool enough trip. we went to jarash. this one of the largest most conserved roman cities in existance today. it was large.... we spent 4 hours there... didnt really want to spend that much time there. i would of much rather slept. but oh well. thats ok. then we went to this ajlun thing.. it was a muslim crusader caslte. that was actually kindof cool... my camera broke... so i wont be able to give you any pics of that right now... but i will steal from others... so at the end of the trip you can see... but i am sorry for the delay right now... i will try to get you some kindof picture right now... but let me think... that was saturday.... this is sunday... we are basically spending the day in irbid... relaxing... it is nice... i like it in irbid. the night life is a blast... and it is a college town... it is nice.... hartha where we are staying is an awesome town too.... basically... i like the days off... oh i got to sleep in till almost 9 today. that was incredible. i woke up at 5 ready for whatever like usual but it was nice to be able to go back to bed.

ok and now the war. a lot of you may be wandering about the war and if we are going to be coming home earlier.... or if it is safe... well first let me say it is a war.... lebanon and israel are at war.... the papers over in america are not saying that i dont think... i think someone told me that they are calling it a "non-war" that isnt true. we are holding out right now... jordan is not involved right now... but it is close. we are not far from israel... but everything is ok as of now... the director and all the senior staff are keeping there eyes on the news and will bring us home early if something should arise. we dont expect it to get bad here. jordan usually stays out of these types of things.... but if anything should happen... i will be sure to post... but for now that is all. oh and this is just a picture at a military checkpoint... dont freak out... i kindof got it without permission. but ok... you know what... nevermind... the picture is not uploading properly. so i am not going to deal with it...

hump week

so this is the middle. we are almost on the downward slope.... it should be fun.... actually it will be. we have a pretty light weekend approaching us. and we are almost done in our area. after this week i will be relocated. it should be pretty good. oh so yeah... you remember the guy who gave me the shirt..... yeah today i got a teddy bear. i dont know what to think... i definitely know he likes me... but i know i should be ok.... i am trying not to lead him on or anything. and i tell him he doesnt have to get me anything. but i dont know whatelse to do... maybe we will be put in different areas at the end of this week.. i dont know.... oh and then this last weekend.... went to the dead see..... that is the pic.... man any cuts.... anything burns.... ouch... it was cool.... hard to not float... but it was cool... alright... i really dont know whatelse to say.... i have been really tried... it is kindof like just trying to get through the week right now... get some rest... oh something else that is pretty cool.... i totally have gotten to sort the pottery from the dig. it was cool. of course they check it afterwards... but it is so cool. like early and late byzantine.... ummyad, abbassid, iron age, middle bronze. fun. but ok that is all.... until next time.

one more week gone...

ok well we had to say goodbye to some of our workers yesterday... it was very sad... i will miss them, but it was time for them to go to the university. but oh well... some things going on at camp. everyone has been getting sick. i thought i was going to be able to escape it... and i escaped the harsh parts, but i am starting to feel the hurt. it is not comfortable... my stomach is going crazy... oh well. it will be fine. today we had to climb this really tall mountain to get to the remains of king herods castle. this is the same place where john the baptist got beheaded. that was interesting. it has a great veiw.. but it definitely was a long walk. not that fun... but ok.. this is going to have to be a short entry... i will try to make up for it later. ok and this is a picture of me at work... and yes i really am that dirty at the end of each day

wow

this has been quite a week that is for sure. i think i get married.... well no i didnt but there is a story. i was at work... and see one of the workers under me bought me this really nice shirt and came to the school to give it to me. he was dressed super nice had his hair done.... and it was just really nice. i felt kindof bad. there is talk that he might be fired for getting to close to the americans. and also his hair is longer... and that is frowned apon here. i feel kindof bad about that. but now some of the people in camp are giving me a hard time. one is calling me habibee... meaning beloved. and then one is making cat noises... it has been interesting. i like the shirt a lot though. but then... also more stories. i guess a man got apprehended on the tell yesterday. he was walking around somewhere near the area i was working at... we dont know who he is but he was picked up within 5 minutes. oh and... one of the workers today had a boulder fall on him. it has really been interesting. oh and this was cool... today after work. i was getting up about to get in the bus when a truck of workers came by and was like sarah.... and waved me in.... one of the area supervisors was like go. it is cool. this is the only place that i can just hop on the back of a truck and make it back. i like it. i ride in the back of a truck usually 2 times a day. on the way and on the way back from work.

ok... i think i am going to tell you exactly what happens in a typical work day.... ok i wake up at 4 am in the morning.... yeah i know early. we eat breakfast which consists of pita and something we call shimingy.... it is like a cream of wheat. my pita usually has jam on it at this meal... then i jump on the back of a truck and get to work by 5. we stand around and socialize with the workers till around 530-545. then we work. i have been uncovering a church floor. it has been kindof interesting and cool at times... but also boring. then there is at 930 a break for 2nd breakfast. this is usually cucumber... tomato.... hard boiled egg. and pita... if luck we get an orange. this time i put cheese on the pita. then we work again till 1245. jump in the truck at 1 and head back to camp. then lunch. big meal... can be anything. nice. then there is showers. nice time of the day... very very very cold. but oh well. nice still the same. we ran out of water on monday i believe. not fun. dirty. but then we can take a nap. and at 4 there is pottery reading and registry work to be done. once a week for everyone. my day is tuesday. then dinner at 6. registry can take 2-3 or even 4 hours depending. not fun. one night i was in there till 10. ouch. but then... we also have lectures. and other such stuff... and then if we are smart bed at 9-930. but that is my day. hope that was a good post

the weekend is over

well i just got back from all over the place looking at different castles. some of them arent very castley. but what ya gonna do. i got some good pictures. it was pretty cool. i saw some cool instrument playing. i dont even really know what the thing was called though. so we will see. i am definitely bringing some kindof instrument home. and i think i have a song in the works. we will see. it will be hard without the guitar at hand. but we will see. it was nice. last night we stayed at a hotel. and this place had a pool and hot water. needless to say it was heaven. i was forgetting what hot showers were. :) but ok... i really dont know whatelse to say. Germany won the game against argentina. we ended up watching it in a tent on the side of the road. that was definitely an experience and the traffic that was going on after the game was insane. jordan night life is something else. they are definitely night people it is actually kindof funny. but ok that is all. talk to you later.

one week down.....

so the dig is going smooth. i think the workers are pretty mad though. the department of antiquities is jipping them big on the paycheck. so we will see how that goes monday. we are going somewhere tomorrow. i am not sure where. i think we are going to look at some castles. we'll see. oh and during that dig... lets see. i think that coolest thing that i have found so far is a couple of roman nails. even though they were in a contaminated area it was such a nice find that they were documented and going to end up being mailed back to the US. that is kindof cool. oh and.... things are going decently well here. homework is kindof lagging... but that is to be expected. the only reason i am in iribid right now is to go to the hookah bar to watch some futball. should be fun. but actually i really dont know whatelse to say. we had our first class yesterday.. it was somewhat ridiculous. oh well. i will prolly write later this week after the castles. we will see. alright catch ya later.

the digging begins

i have now been digging for 3 days. this is a 5 to 1 work day. it is a little rough... but it is ok. i am what you could call almost black. if you see me when i get back i am sure i will be black by then. it should be funny. for those wanting more specifics on my actual job, i am a cleaning lady. well more than that. i am a cleaning lady with some cool tools. it is my job to take the dirt which in some cases can be about 6 in thick of the church floor. the floor is amazing. it has red limestone and black bysalt stone. it is beautiful. we are trying to finish the church by the end of next week. it will be hard. but we will see. it is interesting to have some jordanian workers under you. one of them is study english lit at the university. he is attempting to teach me arabic. it is pretty cool. oh and yesterday we went downtown to get some ice cream... and it was pretty funny... the stores for some reason were closed so we started walking back and then were called over by some kids. we ended up at this guys store. hospitality is amazing. he gave us coke, water, and coffee. and then a pear on our way out. his english was amazing. but he felt it his job to teach us all arabic. we must of learned all of a thousand words in 2 hours. its all a blur. i was late to pottery reading because you just cant ever seem to get out of a jordanians house. it was ok though. i really like working in the registery. seeing all the pottery and glass and metal and whatever else that was kept from the days dig. it is a lot of work, but it is so cool being able to look at the pottery and the technique from over a thousand years ago. but yeah that is all right about now. i have work tomorrow and it is already 4 pm here. i think that means it is like 8 am there. yay.... but yeah i was invited over to one of the workers house today... so we will see. that might be another entry later. but now i think that is time that i say goodbye. and please leave comments or email.. i would love to hear from you.

again

yeah so i am back because we got kicked out of the school today. this will be a shorter day though. we just have to stay away till around 12. it should be ok. they are taking these tests that are very important and so we have to disappear for a little bit. church didnt really happen... i think we are going to try to do something tonight. maybe. we will see. oh yesterday after i made my last entry. i tried the huka. my professor paid for it. he said it is all part of the cultural experience. it was cool. for those that dont know what a huka is.... it looks kindof like a bong... but it isnt. it is flavored tobacco. interesting. but... yeah... i hung out at the huka bar for a little bit. and then we left. our professor was there for way longer than us. he was letting his 11 year old kid do it too. basically harmless. but anyway. the dig starts tomorrow. all that is really going through my head is i hope i dont break whatever i find. but we will see. i have already found several peices of pottery... but that is no big deal... so we will see what happens tomorrow. alright talk to ya later

one week in

well i must say this is really interesting. we have gotten through our field training... which technically consisted of one day out on the dig and learning basic technique. we start on monday with our jordanian workers. it shoud prove to be somewhat intimidating. i got assigned to work in the area D church. the dig site is broken down into several areas. it is cool enough.... but i lucked out with having a spot where there is a breeze. i am happy. we drink water here out of these cisterns. they are basically big clay pots. we dont get the pleasure of sitting down to go to the bathroom either... can someone say turkish toilet. also our showers are just converted toilets. imagine bathing where you go to the bathroom. interesting. but today was interesting. we went to the place where Jesus cast Legion from the man into the pigs. very cool. and there were filming a movie there also at the time. which me and some others accidently stumbled upon. woops. the guys were really nice. we got pics and other such things. oh and i got to kindof see the sea of galilee. couldnt really see it though. it was too hazy. oh.... and today... we get the pleasure of finding our way back to camp. they are trying to teach us how to do that ourselves. we will see. it should be fine. oh and laundry. appreciate washing machines. i just did my laundry for the first time yesterday. crazy. all i had was a bucket and soap. i hope they are clean. if not. oh well. the dust here will just dirty them up again anyway. oh... i got to play soccer out front of the school we are staying at on the concrete with some guys in our group and also some arab men. that was cool. all i could really do was say hone hone. which means here here. and then say tabanah over and over again. meaning tired. it was a hard game. we won. me and the arabs. umm i fell into a thorn bush on one play that was great. i was all bloody... i went straight to the toilet to take a shower. nice ice cold shower. haha... well that is it for now. hope to here from ya. oh and that is a pic of all of us sitting in a tomb. nice huh.

I MADE IT

alright guys... i made it into jordan sunday night. there were some mixups. i had to pay 100 dollars for the airline to reissue me a ticket. oh well i made it. the teachers got stuck in chicago with a bunch of people. that was interesting. but we made it ok. they arrived last night and we hung out with some other abila people. its good to at least know some americans here. i have realized that women are really second class here. there are looks... but its ok. i mean i am picking up some arabic already and it is good. i can say hi. how do i get to so and so place. thank you. whats your name. howare you. many many things. i am picking it up better than i thought. but... anyway.... right now i am in iribid. it has been interesting. i need to prolly get food now. i am sorry for such a short post but i look forward to hearing from you.

Tomorrow

alright... i leave tomorrow. i am going to try to keep this up over the time in jordan. i dont know how the summer is going to go really. but i will try to keep this up. i finally finished packing tonight... talk about last minute. i havent gotten my homework done yet either. oh well we will see how it all goes. hope to hear from everyone.

one week

i have one more week at home. next saturday i will be on a plane going over to a country that i know nothing about. i am afraid i am not ready at all for this. i still havent finished my school work. i havent done anything as far as packing... or even getting the stuff i need. next week is going to be so stressful. i am afraid i am not going to get done what i need to get done. i havent summarized any of my books nor have i even finished them. i want to finish the book i am on tomorrow... maybe if it is possible finish reading this weekend. i need to leave the house to do that. the next couple of days i think i am going to have to spend at the park. i need to get something done. but ok.. i really need to get to sleep... have to wake up to read something.

work...

i was working the other day... i dont remember what day... but it got me thinking. everytime someone walks by they say something to the effect... "still working on the bin locations, God that must be boring. glad im not doing it." well... they arent doing it, i am. and for some reason it doesnt bother me that much. it gets me thinking though. this is something i can bare. those boring crap jobs that no one wants to do but that someone has to do. well... what is sad... i think i can see myself sitting in a cubicle punching numbers, doing data entry for the rest of my life. it wouldnt be something i would enjoy... but someone has to do it. i dont know whatelse i can really see myself doing. but ok... if you got any suggestions that will keep me out of that cubicle... please feel free

cycling

so i took richard's bike out today. richard... you are too tall. how am i supposed to ride if my legs cant touch the ground. it makes me sad. i am asking for a bike for my birthday. i wanna ride. i like it.. but i dont have a good bike. oh and i think i am realizing the need for bike shorts. that seat is not the most comfortable thing. on my dyno... i usually stood the whole time... so i really didnt see the need. but i definitely can tell now. if anyone has a good idea for a bike let me know

crash and burn

man last night... wow... i fell asleep around 430 last night... well i guess afternoon. and i woke up this morning around 830. i know... that cant be good. but that is what happened. i didnt sleep straight through. i remember that i did wake up at different times during the night... but always almost instantly fell back to sleep. i dont know what to think about that. i got 7 hours the night before. so i really dont think that had anything to do with it. i just cant help but wonder what would cause that much sleep. and i am sure you could guess... i am still super tired. i cant afford going back to sleep though. i mean i have to get some reading done. but anyway. i am on book 5 now. i want to try to get it done today. i dont know if that will happen though. we will see.

work all night.... sleep all day

life can get so stressful. it seems like all i have time for is reading and working. yeah i get a small nap at night.... but that is never enough.... i have gotten 3 books out of the way... but i am now reading this one book that seems like it will take a few days at least of just pure reading to get through. it is so long. i am hoping to get through a section or 2 today.. but i dont know if that is going to happen. we will see im sure. i think being outside all the time is starting to wear down on me as well. i think i am a few shades darker now... which is kindof scary considering i havent left for the desert yet. but yeah... i think i am actually only gonna work 1 day this week. i didnt mean for that to happen... but i think i am gonna have to stay home tomorrow. but anyway... i am really tired... and have a bunch of reading to do. so i will let this post trail away to nothing.

Mormonism

so... i was sitting outside at the park again. this time i was sitting under a tree as to not get too burned. live and learn. but it was interesting. these mormons came up to me. i saw em coming and wondered if they would come up to me... and sure enough they did. i let them do there talk. but once they got to the jesus coming to america i had to tell them i thought they were wrong. they were ok with that. grateful i gave them the time. we talked a little. they gave me the book of mormon and then were on their way. they actually asked me if they could come back and talk to me another day. i said i dont know... i might not be sitting here that day... but who knows. so i have this book of mormon. it got me thinking actually. because i had to speak at youth today. and i thought. i cant just let this pass without using it. so i gave a little test to the youth group. most could not tell the difference between the new testament and the book of mormon. interesting. but i didnt stay on that... that was just a point. it was just an interesting day... wasnt expecting that encounter.

burnt

i went outside today. took a bike ride to the park and sat outside and read one of my many books... still not done with it.... but i ended up sitting out there for a couple hours. i am officially burnt. my skin now has this nice shade of red to it. i think my farmers tan is almost gone... thats good. but anyway.... its funny. as much as sunburns can hurt.. they kindof feel good as well. there is a sense of having done something when you get a sunburn. i didnt spend the day inside. more than i have done in a long time. its nice. i miss the outside. there are so many great things that come with it. but ok... i need to get back to reading... i am almost halfway through the first book. i just hope more didnt arrive in the mail today...

the beginning

alright.... so another day another post. i have opened my first book, read my first chapter, and to be honest i dont see it happening. i am gonna try. oh yeah i will try. but the amount of reading in front of me leaves me really discouraged. it is just so hard to get motivated. there is one thing i know for sure though.... at the end of this i will be so smart when it comes to the church.... more specifically in the middle east. i guess that could come in handy some day....

oh and on top of all the reading... i am so gosh darn tired. i allow myself plenty of time for sleep, but it never seems to work.... i think i need to get a sleep study done... something tells me it all has to do with sleep quality. maybe it is the times that i wake up at night.... sometimes it is more than others... or at least times that i realize i wake up. i dont know... what would keep me from sleeping well. or is it all in my head... maybe i sleep like a baby every night. i wish i could find out. maybe fix a couple of things. but anyway... that wasnt the point of this post. i just think that being a little rested would help me in reading this summer. but ok... i must go... i have things like reading that needs to be done.

reading

you know i like reading just as much as the next person... but i was looking at my reading list for this summer and it is going to be hard. i dont really know what i am going to do. but i think in the matter of a month i need to have about 11 books read... aahhhh!!!!!! these are long books. and i have another book i just found about today that needs to be read by august. i dont know how that is going to be done. needless to say there will be less tv and a lot more reading. i dont think i will be working as much as i thought. i mean that is about 3 books a week. oh crap that is too much.... if any of you wish to help me out with this you can feel more than welcome. man this is totally on top of a bunch of papers. what were these teachers thinking. i am really gonna have to pace myself.

i dont understand the concept behind so much work... i mean how am i supposed to comprehend that much information in that amount of time. kindof makes you want to question the whole system. but then i think i am not really willing to challenge the system when i dont have that much breathing room. speaking of breathing room i think i just took up all that i have in writing this....

relationships

i got to thinkin today about friendships and other such relationships. it's interesting. i love people. i love knowing them. relating in different ways with them. but it always hurts when they leave your life. yeah they will always be a part of my life. i wont let it be any other way. those that i get close with... i cant let them leave. not completely. but i hate it when something happens that makes it come to a hault. i grow to love certain people. and when they leave... when you dont seem to be around them or as close to them anymore... it always hurts so much. it gets me thinking. is it worth it. are relationships worth the hurt. well of course they have to be right? will relationships be preserved into the next life? one must wonder

Cancellation

today i was supposed to go to lunch with my old youth pastor, billy. he called me up right before i was going to leave to meet him and had to cancel. he had a good excuse, but it still stinks. it seems like everytime you get your hopes up... they only fall harder. life seems full of disappointment. sometimes though something in you says i am going to take the risk. you let yourself become vulnerable and then you either are fulfilled or fall harder than you could of ever dreamed. sometimes i wonder is it worth it?

new blog

ok i gave in.... i am moved to an actual blog site. i used myspace for a little bit. and i still might do some on that.... but really i dont know... i dont see the point in blogs really. so i am just kindof writing. it is a way to waste time. i know i shouldnt be wasting time. but i am done with school and just want a way to sit back and not do much. i have a lot to do to get ready for jordan yes. but i want to sit back and relax. but ok here is the start of something new. hope whoever reads it enjoys it.